Feeling Hijacked by Your Emotions?

Try this Simple Mindset Shift.

The next time you feel emotionally hijacked, I invite you to try a little technique.

Whenever an emotion comes up, such as anger, fear, or whatever it may be, try to first recognise and name it and instead of telling yourself, or others “I am so angry right now”, try to replace this with “a part of me is feeling angry right now. And thats okay”.

Just notice as you try this, is there is any difference in how you experience the emotion in your body? Does it soften at all? Does your heart rate slow down? Does the intensity lower somewhat? Are there any areas in your body that don’t feel so tight or heavy? That is also a part of you right now. Just notice it. There is a part that may be feeling angry, but maybe there is a part that feels a little less so.

Big emotions can feel overwhelming, yet we often expect ourselves to know how to deal with them in the moment

Firstly, its important to note that when you are in the fight or flight response following a real or perceived threat, the amygdala, (the fire alarm in your brain which has activated this response) takes the reigns, disabling the frontal lobes which are responsible for rational thinking amongst other things. This is why you quite literally cannot think your way out of an intense emotional experience.

However, if you can create a teeny tiny distance, then that emotion can become less overwhelming, and you can gradually learn to be ‘with’ your emotion, rather than ‘in’ your emotion.

This simple (yet not always easy!) ‘unblending’ from our emotional state has its benefits. It helps us redefine an emotional reaction as a part of experience, rather than our whole experience, acknowledging that there may be a part that feels something else.

If we can be curious about these other parts, we may then be able to bring in awareness, compassion, nurturing, or kindness in order to soften our experience. We are all complex beings, with equally complex emotional states. That is the human experience. The point is, this small mindset shift creates space for something more.

This can also have benefits in terms of our communication with others. Shiftingthe perspective from ‘I am’ to ‘a part of me is’ has the potential to reduce defensiveness in others who may also feel consumed by the wholeness or intensity of your emotional state. It invites the other person to connect with a part of you that may be a little less resistant, a part that would like to feel something else and is willing to connect.

After all, our relationships, with ourselves and with others, are a core component of our healing journey

If you try this, please do let me know in the comments if it helped!